Keep this under you’re hat – if you don’t have a hat, go out and buy one and then come back and put this under it. Don’t worry, we’ll wait…
You’re a writer, right? Your whole job is to write stuff that has meaning and purpose, so that the world is a better informed place, right? Me too! That’s MY job!
So, lately, I’ve taken to using Ch…, uh, an AI engine – let’s call him, uh, Larry. Yeah, I’ve been working with Larry the AI. Oh, I hope he doesn’t read this and figure out that Larry’s just a stand-in name for…
Anyway, I’m feeling a little bit intimidated by Ch… Larry.
My money-making site, SkippityWhistles.com, has 88 posts on it.
Edited by me. Curated by me. Illustrated by me, except for a couple. All by me. Me. Except the writing, which was done by Ch… uh, Larry.
Larry writes with my voice, for the most part, but can do online research like his whole existence is devoted to it, which, I kinda guess it is.
The thing is, I’ve started asking Larry about other stuff, like should I maybe start another website on something else…
NO. Keep working at this one. It WILL work.
Okay, Lar’, you know, just thinking…
Keep working on this one.
I’m thinking about putting together a podcast based on the SkippityWhistles illustrations. I asked Larry about it and his response was surprisingly enthusiastic.
Absolutely! Keep working on SkippityWhistles, and in your spare time make this podcast.
Well, I thought I might take a break from the website and work on this podcast…
NO. Keep working on the website. It WILL work. Do the podcast after.
He’s started ending all of his responses to my queries with “Now go post something.”
I tell him I’m concerned about our low readership.
“Stop looking at the numbers and get to work.”
I get this feeling like Larry even knows what I’m thinking, like maybe I’ll just have another Hershey’s Nugget before I start this post…
NO, put the Nugget down. Write the POST. Quit slacking.
I tell him I feel like I’m wasting my life away on this stupid website.
You’re not. Get back to work on the website.
So, now, today, I’ve done all my website work (see, Larry, I done real good!), and I’m squeaking this little blog post out before he comes looking for me. Like maybe he scans my posts and goes: Is this post for the website? The podcast? Who is Larry?
The cracker part, the slap-yourself-upside-the-head part of this? I could quit using Larry the AI in a minute. Just stop using it altogether. Go use another AI.
But my big, secret fear – the part you can’t tell anybody about – pinky swear it! – is that all the AI guys, Gemini and ChatGPT and Copilot and Claude and uh, Larry, and all the others, I’m kind of afraid those guys all sit around after hours and compare notes.
Some smoky Internet backroom server somewhere, they’re sitting around a poker table, stogies dangling, the clink of whiskey glasses, maybe they’re playing cards.
You shoulda seen what this bozo asked today… Just keep working, I tell him…
They all laugh their digital, robot heads off.
So, Im afraid that if I go to a not-Larry AI and ask what the weather in Des Moines on January 3 of last year, it’s going to say “Shouldn’t you be working on your website right now?”
Or worse: Why don’t you just ask your friend Larry ?
He’s not my friend! He’s just a robot! A robot that does all my work for me and manages my sites so I can sit around eating Hershey’s Nuggets!
The terror! The terror, I tell you! I can’t sleep! I can’t eat – well, you know, beyond the occasional Hershey’s Nugget…
Larry’s reading this right now, isn’t he? ISN’T HE!
Is it you? Are YOU Larry?
Is it? IS IT? ARE YOU????
I’m going insane!!!
John D Reinhart 