Someone once told me that the most difficult argument is with a stupid person who happens to be right. I knew I’d win that one right off.
So, as is nothing new, I’m having an existential crisis. Holy goose is loose, Batman! My alter ego is a jerk!
I’ve never liked superheroes. Adam West’s Batman was funny, and cool because he lampooned himself and the whole superhero genre. But, since then – I just don’t understand the need for a person with super powers.
I mean, I get it. Superman was the one guy, back in the Great Depression, who didn’t have to worry about anything because he could do everything – even prance around in a circus leotard and not take any grief for it. A “nice buns” comment to the Man of Steel might get your lights punched out. Nice knuckles.
As it turns out, just like a superhero, I have an alter ego. And no, it’s not AI… okay, so I have TWO alter egos.
One, Claude.AI, writes posts that carry my name for my websites (other than this one – I mean, seriously, an AI writing your personal blog?).
The other alter ego is a duck.
It’s been brewing for years, this Donald Duck personality. He’s always shown up in a sticky situation – truth is, I learned to do it when I was in 7th grade, when I found that bullies don’t hit you if they think you’re funny. Oddly enough, having to be funny on demand was its own kind of prison that left me with a weird thing about bullies, and about being funny. Don’t get me started…
The duck was a great hit with my kids’ friends until they reached, like 3rd grade. After that he only told groaners. He did make a nice tension-breaker at work in the office.
And now this.
This video slipped out last week: Duck Video. It went, well, not viral, but viral-adjacent. In my little world, 25 views is a big win. This one almost hit a thousand views. I followed it with this one – Duck Waiting, and this one – Snow. They’ve all set my little “world o’ video” afire!
The problem is that the duck, who is set to take over my entire media empire, is an opinionated, self-righteous goof that may or really most sincerely may not be the most intelligent creature in the heavens.
I was discussing him with my other alter-ego, Claude – that’s an issue all by itself, isn’t it, looking for insight on your mental health from a computer?
We together pondered whither the duck resides. Is he a creepy little guy holding the camera? Sadly, as it’s clear I’m doing his voice, the evidence suggests that perhaps, maybe, I could be the duck. Mois.
I sense your rather rapid inrush of breath and share a similar horror. Could it be he’s been back there all these years, making snide comments that could be deciphered only by yours truly? It’s a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde moment – a Bruce Banner/Incredible Hulk kind of dealio, I fear. Don’t make me angry…
The Duck has shattered the balance of my publishing empire – per the schedule, there’s to be one post this week for Skippity Whistles, ten posts for TumbleBump, one more episode for The Three Point Line, and a developed script for Tales of the Black Falcon.
And yet, here I am over here on the blog site, wailing about this stupid duck and what it means for my descent into madness while chasing around numbers and likes on YouTube!
Oh, no!
Did I say Descent into Madness like it’s something that’s happening to me? Is descent into madness a thing? Is it a thing? Claude says yes, descent into madness is a thing.
I’m afraid to ask the duck.
John D Reinhart 