Did you ever wonder why laptops don’t fit in your lap? Or why you don’t have the kind of lap into which the laptop will fit? Is it the design of the thing, or you the defective one?
I’m writing this on the pricey little tablet my wife bought at Costco for me. What doesn’t she buy at Costco? The stuff that comes from Amazon, of course.
Like the laptop, if you want to use the nifty keyboard case that includes a nifty keyboard, you’re going to have to find a table. Maybe that’s why they call it a table-t.
Either way, I’m outside on the deck behind my house. Although I’m in the shade, the jim-crack little outdoor thermo sensor (some call it a thermometer – how quaint) came from neither Amazon nor Costco, but the discount aisle at a big-box hardware store that shall remain nameless because I can’t remember whether it was Lowes or Home Depot. In either case, it’s in the shade, and it says 104 degrees.
To be fair, it’s bolted to the cornerpost of the deck rail, so it’s measuring the heat of the wood to which it’s attached rather than the ambient air.
But you get the drift.
This Be-Your-Own-Boss gig is not for everyone. At least it takes some getting used to, believe me you. After 40+ years of the ol’ 9-5, I have falling-behind work dreams most nights, and although my work now is totally creative and task-driven, I still carry the Pavlovian need to be at my desk first thing in the morning.
Yesterday was hot, but cooler. My daughter in-law, taking her kid, my grandkid, to school, with her car bumps into a jogging old lady and knocks her down. Why is she jogging in this heat?
Everyone’s upset and OMG here are the cops and Grandpa could YOU take the kid to school?
I’m looking at my watch – 8:45. Okay, but I’m going to have to make up this time, see…
Over the weekend my wife bought an enormous inflatable frog tunnel thing at Costco. It’s, like, nine feet long and has a hose attachment for some dumbass water feature.
Well, everyone’s so upset over the old lady getting run down, let’s have them over for dinner and could you set up the frog tunnel because it’s so darned hot outside?
Sure, but I’m trying to make this video… fine, fine, fine.
The old lady was just fine, the daughter in law was just fine, the grandkid was just fine. But I felt my working day just a’slip-sliding away – not fine.
Wrote and shot Episode 8 of the Three Point Line, my podcast. Got it halfway edited before is was time to inflate the frog.
So, we have this one-lung air compressor from Harbor Freight that does a great job, but is slow, being one-lung. It’s 3HP, 110psi, if you must know. It took ALL AFTERNOON to INFLATE the FROG!
All the while my 9-5 inner boss is saying, hey, bozo, when you gonna finish that video? You should be working, man, not screwing around this green vinyl monstrosity!
The beast is finally inflated, the water feature features water in it, and the grandkid stumbles into it. At 20 months, you can’t honesty say that he walked in there.
And the boy downright guffawed in delight. I have never seen him laugh so hard.
His parents were happy, he was happy, my wife was happy, and the Universe said “listen, Bilbo, your job is not always your work, and your work is not always your job. Sit down and relax. THESE are the moments you’ve worked for all your life.”
Crackers, I mutter to myself. That’s probably true.
So, today is even hotter, and my PC gave up the ghost while I was in my west-facing office trying to grind out posts for TumbleBump.com. It didn’t quit, but I could hear the fans working overtime, so I thought it wisest to give them the afternoon off.
And everyone’s hot and tired and nobody wants to run around through the giant frog-tunnel thing because, even IT has wilted in this heat.
Weird how the world works.
Writing this post is maintaining a corner of my online empire, so, yes, boss, I’m still working, even though the shop is shut down.
Boy, I hope I give me a raise!
John D Reinhart 