Video Series: CANCELLED

DIY showbiz is just about as difficult as the real thing. It’s so nasty that sometimes you have to cancel your own program!

You’re a writer – you know how it goes. You try anything, everything to promote your book. You have to step outside of your comfort zone and try new stuff to get your name out there.

Me? I decided to convert my novel Marigold’s End into an animated video series – who’s done that one, huh?

My first thought was to shoot it with GI Joes and Barbies, because we had tons of those left over from when the kids were, well, kids. Stop motion, baby, using a cell phone camera! Not so hard… uh oh. How do you dress them in 18th century clothes? Rats.

Then along came Blender, the free 3D animation software. We-heh-heh-hello, stranger. I’m pretty good in the 3D sphere. Tons of models, even sailing ships and guns and stuff. And I can make cannons and furniture and swords. Piece of cake!

But what about the people? Where would they come from?

Enter Reallusion Software, and their free-to-try Character Creator. For 30 days you can crank out as many 3D sailors as you can shake a simulated two-dimensional stick at!

Even better, their Crazy Talk software automatically animates your character’s face to speak the words you provide. Automatically! That software was $35 – DONE!

Uh oh, what about clothes? We can do it! Alls ya gotsta do is make the clothes in Blender, see? And there are dozens of tutorials, see? Piece of cake.

We’ve got the sets, we’ve got the actors, we’ve got some rag-like costumes for this grand video adventure. On our way!

Using all that software, I was able to produce this Introductory Sequence. My wife says it looks like a reject from a Barbie movie. Oh, if only it was that good!

We’re ready to start production!

Except. That. The Crazy Talk software. Has been discontinued, with no follow-up product!

That’s okay, I have it on my computer! But now that it’s been discontinued, the software no longer runs.

Wull, gee, fellas, my cast of characters from Character Creator doesn’t feature movable chins and lips. If I want them to speak, I’ll have to animate their entire faces, frame by frame, moving the hundreds and hundreds of polygons that makes up their head. Wull, gee. Who has time for that?

So, the official word is CANCELLED.

My attempt at psuedo-Hollywood gimcrackery must roll straight into the dumpster.

My wife reminds me that I’m a writer, not a 3D artist.

Sigh.

Back to Gorilla Marketing: do nothing, expect big results.

I kind of like the music in the introduction, though…boopa-doobidy-boopa-doobidy-boopa-doobidy-doop.